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The Psychology of Desire: Why We Want What We Want
Desire is a strange thing. We can want people who are wrong for us. Fantasise about things we would never actually do. Feel indifferent toward someone objectively attractive, then become completely captivated by a person who doesn’t fit our usual “type” at all. Sometimes desire arrives instantly. A glance across a crowded room. A particular…
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The Psychology of Desire: Why We Want What We Want
Desire is a strange thing. We can want people who are wrong for us. Fantasise about things we would never actually do. Feel indifferent toward someone objectively attractive, then become completely captivated by a person who doesn’t fit our usual “type” at all. Sometimes desire arrives instantly. A glance across a crowded room. A particular…
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The Psychology of Desire: Why We Want What We Want
Desire is a strange thing. We can want people who are wrong for us. Fantasise about things we would never actually do. Feel indifferent toward someone objectively attractive, then become completely captivated by a person who doesn’t fit our usual “type” at all. Sometimes desire arrives instantly. A glance across a crowded room. A particular…
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The Psychology of Desire: Why We Want What We Want
Desire is a strange thing. We can want people who are wrong for us. Fantasise about things we would never actually do. Feel indifferent toward someone objectively attractive, then become completely captivated by a person who doesn’t fit our usual “type” at all. Sometimes desire arrives instantly. A glance across a crowded room. A particular…
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THE EVOLUTION OF DESIRE IN THE DIGITAL AGE
How Technology Changed the Way We Want Desire used to have to wait. You noticed someone across a crowded room. You wondered whether they noticed you too. Perhaps you exchanged glances, perhaps a telephone number, perhaps nothing at all. You went home carrying uncertainty with you. There was no profile to investigate, no green dot…
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HOW TO TALK TO A PARTNER ABOUT TRYING SOMETHING NEW IN BED
There’s something strangely intimidating about telling someone you’re already intimate with that you’d like to try something different. You can share a bed, a bathroom, embarrassing stories, questionable takeaway orders, and perhaps even your deepest insecurities. Yet the moment you need to say, “There’s something I’ve been curious about…”, suddenly you’re mentally preparing for a…
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WHY PEOPLE GHOST (AND WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS)
One minute, you’re exchanging messages until midnight, flirting over drinks, making plans, perhaps sharing a bed. The next? Silence. Your last message sits there like a tiny digital crime scene. Delivered. Maybe read. Definitely unanswered. So you wait. Perhaps they’re busy. Perhaps something happened. Perhaps they’ll reply tomorrow. Then tomorrow becomes three days, three days…
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HOW STRESS, DIET, AND SLEEP AFFECT YOUR SEX LIFE
Sexual desire can feel mysterious. One week, you can’t keep your hands off someone. The next, the idea of sex feels about as exciting as reorganising a kitchen cupboard. And sometimes, nothing obvious has changed. You’re still attracted to your partner. Your relationship hasn’t suddenly collapsed. You haven’t consciously decided that sex is no longer…
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HOW TO NAVIGATE MISMATCHED LIBIDOS WITHOUT HURTING YOUR RELATIONSHIP
Sex is often described as the glue that holds a romantic relationship together—but what happens when one partner wants it far more often than the other? If you’ve ever found yourself thinking, “Why don’t they want me?” or “Why am I always the one saying no?”, you’re far from alone. Mismatched libidos are one of…
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The Psychology of Desire: Why We Want What We Want
Desire is a strange thing. We can want people who are wrong for us. Fantasise about things we would never actually do. Feel indifferent toward someone objectively attractive, then become completely captivated by a person who doesn’t fit our usual “type” at all. Sometimes desire arrives instantly. A glance across a crowded room. A particular…
-
THE EVOLUTION OF DESIRE IN THE DIGITAL AGE
How Technology Changed the Way We Want Desire used to have to wait. You noticed someone across a crowded room. You wondered whether they noticed you too. Perhaps you exchanged glances, perhaps a telephone number, perhaps nothing at all. You went home carrying uncertainty with you. There was no profile to investigate, no green dot…
-
HOW TO TALK TO A PARTNER ABOUT TRYING SOMETHING NEW IN BED
There’s something strangely intimidating about telling someone you’re already intimate with that you’d like to try something different. You can share a bed, a bathroom, embarrassing stories, questionable takeaway orders, and perhaps even your deepest insecurities. Yet the moment you need to say, “There’s something I’ve been curious about…”, suddenly you’re mentally preparing for a…
-
WHY PEOPLE GHOST (AND WHAT IT ACTUALLY MEANS)
One minute, you’re exchanging messages until midnight, flirting over drinks, making plans, perhaps sharing a bed. The next? Silence. Your last message sits there like a tiny digital crime scene. Delivered. Maybe read. Definitely unanswered. So you wait. Perhaps they’re busy. Perhaps something happened. Perhaps they’ll reply tomorrow. Then tomorrow becomes three days, three days…
-
HOW STRESS, DIET, AND SLEEP AFFECT YOUR SEX LIFE
Sexual desire can feel mysterious. One week, you can’t keep your hands off someone. The next, the idea of sex feels about as exciting as reorganising a kitchen cupboard. And sometimes, nothing obvious has changed. You’re still attracted to your partner. Your relationship hasn’t suddenly collapsed. You haven’t consciously decided that sex is no longer…
About the Blog
Desire Notes
Desire Notes is a space for exploring intimacy beyond surface-level advice.
Here, desire is approached as something complex—shaped by psychology, emotion, and modern life. Through essays, reflections, and stories, the blog looks at how we want, connect, hesitate, and evolve in our relationships with others—and ourselves.
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Dive into a curated collection of sensual storytelling, cultural exploration, and thought-provoking perspectives on desire, intimacy, and human connection.
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